Ah, Sweet Slumber, Where Art Thou?

The last time I remember having a peaceful sleep...I was a baby. (No, this isn't my baby picture. Isn't she adorable? Doesn't she look like she is enjoying her repose?)

This is my sleep most nights... a crossed-eyed-frantic-hyperventilating-purple-people-eater!

I am tired, but not sleepy. I am achy. I flip and flop for an hour before I remember I stand a better chance of stilling myself if I lie on my back.

I am on my back.
I'm wide awake...but I'm tired.

I'm thinking about blog pieces I would like to write.
I reach for a magic marker and piece of paper, both of which are in the bed just for this purpose; catching an idea in the dark. (Remember Buddy is in New Jersey because if he were here with me in Santa Cruz, there wouldn't be any pens, crayons, notebooks, magazines, books, index cards, crystals, tarot cards, massages pillows and pokers in the bed.)

I'm looking up into the darkness, wishing I had some neon stars and planets on the ceiling. I'm wondering if anyone has done a CD called Lullabies for Insomniacs. Now, there's a good idea.

Midterms. Tomorrow four of my classes are taking midterms. I hope they do well. So far it has been a great semester. Thank you, God/dess.

I'm revising in my head a story I plan to give to my writing coach this week. If she accepts it, I will participate in an evening of good writing, good food, and great camaraderie where Laura's students read their work.

All the muscles in my neck, shoulders, and back are screaming. I am trying to practice deep breathing.Inhale deeply, exhale slowly.

Fifteen pounds of FuBu just landed on my chest! When did she get so heavy?

I pet her, she purrs and finds an opening to burrow under the covers. She nuzzles in the curve of my body and puts a paw on my arm as if to say: "There, go to sleep, now."

I'm tired...I'm dozing...I'm failing asleep. Ahhh....

I think I am dreaming; yet, I'm aware that I'm aware that I am dreaming. In fact, I think I am talking to my dream. I'm aware that I am dreaming the same scene over and over again. I'm aware that I am tired, yet not asleep, but dreaming, but not quite awake but I feel every ache...ALL NIGHT, from 10:30 pm--5:30 am.

And finally, I drop into sleep...no more straddling the line between two worlds, and I sleep to 9:30 am.

I'm thankful for the four hours, even if I am fatigued.


This, my friends, is the nocturnal plight of many fibromites. I have read a range of 40-96% of fibromyalgia sufferers experience sleep disturbances. There are typically three types of insomnia: trouble falling asleep, trouble sleeping, and trouble staying asleep; some people, like myself, experience all three. Too little sleep causes impaired memory and thought processes (fibro fog), depression, decreased immune response, and increased pain perception.

Everyday that we get up, no matter how slowly and fuzzy-brained, and TCB (take care of business), is a day we feel like fibro warriors.

By the way, here is one of my favorite lullabies,sung by little angels. (Found it on YouTube.)