Late October (poem by Maya Angelou)

Carefully
the leaves of autumn
sprinkle down the tinny
sound of little dyings
and skies sated
of ruddy sunsets
of roseate dawns
roil ceaselessly in
cobweb greys and turn
to black
for comfort.

Only lovers
see the fall
a signal end to endings
a gruffish gesture alerting
those who will not be alarmed
that we begin to stop
in order to begin
again.

Everybody's Business

Today marks the beginning of Domestic Violence Awareness month. In the face of a 30 percent increase of reported domestic violence incidences across the country, our California governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, has seen fit to veto all state funding for Domestic Violence programs.

This action involves a line item veto of the Department of Public Health's Domestic Violence Program, which provided $20.4 million for 94 domestic violence centers and shelters. Services provided by these agencies also include legal advocacy, transitional housing, assistance with restraining orders, counseling, hotlines, and other vital support services.

How can we ignore what amounts to domestic terrorism? In a recent Huffington Post article, Eve Ensler, author of "The Vagina Monologues," reports that already in the past seven months of this year five men in California have killed their families and themselves. And, one hotline in Contra Costa County, CA, received triple the normal number of calls in the first seven months of this year.

In these difficult economic times, we are seeing a rise in domestic violence and a reduction in support of programs that provide advocacy for the victims. We cannot turn a blind eye to this. Let's learn more about Teen Age Dating Abuse, Intimate Partner Abuse, Elder Abuse, Sibling Abuse, the Domestic Violence Cycle, and the signs of a potentially abusive mate during this month.

Contrary to the popular belief that "what goes on behind closed doors, should stay behind closed doors," domestic violence in this country is everybody's business.

Clothed in Glory

School has started, the monarch butterflies have returned, Fall has arrived in all her glory, the Farmers' Markets are bursting with the fruit of the local harvest, and Buddy completed his east-coast to west-coast drive yesterday. He drove through 11 states, none the worse for the wear.

This is a great time of year for Buddy's relocation. Autumn is his favorite season. Here in Santa Cruz, early fall is our summer. We have our best weather in September and October.

'Tis the season of change, a time of transition; 'tis the season of abundance, and a time of dying and letting go.

'Tis the season for YaYa and Buddy to start their lives together.

*************************************************************************************************

Afterword: Last week, I asked readers to submit their favorite travel songs. My friend Sherry submitted a list, among them: "Get Here If You Can" by Oleta Adams. How could I have forgotten that one? Here are the lyrics. (My sentiments exactly.)

Get Here If You Can

You can reach me by railway, you can reach me by trailway
You can reach me on an airplane, you can reach me with your mind
You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
I don't care how you get here, just- get here if you can.

You can reach me by sailboat, climb a tree and swing rope to rope
Take a sled and slide down the slope, into these arms of mine
You can jump on a speedy colt, cross the border in a blaze of hope
I don't care how you get here, just- get here if you can.

There are hills and mountains between us
Always something to get over
If I had my way, then surely you would be closer
I need you closer.

(interlude, then repeat bridge)

You can windsurf into my life, take me up on a carpet ride
You can make it in a big balloon, but you better make it soon
You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
I don't care how you get here, just- get here if you can.

I don't care, I don't care, I need you right here right now.

I need you right here, right now, right by my side (yeah,yeah, yeah, yeah).

I don't care how you get here, just- get here if you can.

Thanks, Sherry.

Road Trip, Road Songs

In less than 36 hours, Buddy will start his cross country trip to California... home, to me, to our new future. We are getting married in November; in the interim, we will be setting up our home in Santa Cruz.

As with most things we do, songs come to mind. Road trip songs. Here are the ones that we've thought of so far:

1.  "Do You Know the Way to San Jose"
2.  "Are You Going to San Francisco"
3.  "Homeward Bound"
4.  "Cruisin"
5.  "Keep On Truckin'"
6.  "On the Road Again"
7.  "The Long and Winding Road"
8.  "California Dreamin'"
9. "Walk On"
10. "Wichita Line Man"
11.  "Rollin' Down the River"
12. "Take Me Home, Country Road"
13. "Born to Be Wild"
14. "Come On and Take a Free Ride"
15. "Riding with the King"
16. "Hit the Road Jack"

These titles date us, I realize. We are looking for more current travel songs. If you think of any, please send them to us in the comment section of this blog piece, or email me.

We Came, We Saw, We Celebrated-Part 2

My parents recently celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary with family and friends. I did not do justice photographing the scope of the event (the camera's battery died and I did not have the battery charger with me) but this one picture captures the essence of Meadie-Peadie and MarionBelle: my mother, ever the lady, and my father, the consummate jokester.

Mommy, my brother John Paul, and friend, Harold.

My sister Tonia (right) and her BBF, Yvonne.

John Paul's son, John Paul, Jr.

Cousin Kenny (left) shares the coveted grilling duties with Buddy (below).

My brother Dutch (Meade Vernon, Jr.), sportin' a hat, just like Meadie-Peadie, and cousin Ronnie and his wife, LaVerne.

Cousin Connie, her mom. Sara, and her husband Bill. Connie brought with her a recently researched family tree of my paternal grandfather's side of the family, and gave us all an opportunity to make corrections.

Tonia's son (and my Godson) Montae, Jr.

Buddy and my cousin Marion enjoy themselves while sharing
meat-slicing duties in the kitchen.

 We have so few sibling photographs.
This is a great one of John Paul and me.

Here is a picture with me, my parents, and John Paul's dog, Paige!

It is a rare occasion when Tonia, who lives in Los Angeles, CA, and I, who lives in Santa Cruz, CA are able to visit my parents at the same time. (Notice MarionBelle, agog in the background.)

We Came, We Saw, We Celebrated

Neither rain, nor mud, nor heat, nor humidity, deterred 90 people from celebrating my parents' 60th wedding anniversary party this past Saturday.

I don't have pictures, yet, but when I do, I will post a few. In the meantime, here is one of the tribute letters to my great parents:



Happy Anniversary Meadie-Peadie and MarionBelle:

There is a popular saying that the only consistent thing in life is change, but whoever said it didn't know Meade Vernon and Marion Cecelia Rowe. For me and many more people within your realm of influence, you have been the most consistent element in our lives.

It is because of your 60-year commitment and devotion to each other, your children, and your community that so many of us can gather here today to say thank you for your caring, compassion, faith, humor, and wisdom.

Who among us could forget the Meadisms that prepared us for life. Sage words like:

1) "Money don't grow on trees."
2) "You can please some of the people some of the time; none of the people none of the time. But you will never please all of the people all of the time."
3) "This too shall pass."
4) "You can't squeeze blood out of a turnip."
5) "When your 18, you're on your own."

Or how about Daddy's wise sayings that helped us learn to set boundaries:

1) "My name is Bennett and I ain't in it." Or
2) "My name's Bess and this ain't my mess!"

And didn't we all believe Mommy when she said:

1) "I've got eyes behind my back." Or
2) "What you do in the Dark will come out in the Light!"

Haven't we all been inspired by Mommy's faith:

1) "Where there is a will, there is a way."
2) "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."
3) "But for the grace of God, there go I."
4) "We walk by faith, not by sight."
5) "God can do any thing but fail."
6) "Hold on to God's unchanging hand."

You have led not only by word, but foremost by example. In your offspring, you have planted the seeds and continually watered the seeds, and today, I hope you can see the fruit of your love and labor.

Happy Anniversary, Mommy and Daddy. Peace, Love, and Joy, YaYa

Time to Play

We don't stop playing
because we grow old;
we grow old
because we stop playing.
--George Bernard Shaw







I'm on vacation with Buddy. I'll be back on Monday, August 24, 2009.