Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!

    Happy Thanksgiving, my beloved readers. Today, I am thankful to Johnson Oatman, Jr. who penned the song below, "Count Your Blessings," based on 1Thessalonians 5:18. I learned this song early in my life and remember liking its bright tune and optimistic lyrics.
    Unfortunately, during life's bumps and bruises, I adopted the view that optimists were naive, at best; but more likely...just plain deluded. Consequently, I became a realist: one who deals with facts and concrete reality, and I pshawed the hopeful ones,  the ones who "walked by faith, not by sight."
    Five years ago, when I started paying alimony to my former husband, this lively tune began to sing itself to me. At that time I was worried that the financial obligation of alimony would send my life into turmoil. 
    I was angry and resentful that not only did I have to pay alimony for the next fours years but I also had to give my former partner half of my retirement savings. (California is a communal property state.) 
    Chaz was disabled and had not worked for five years; so, in essence, he didn't have anything to split. In the material sense, I was being screwed...or so I thought.
    I was torn by the battle within. I felt betrayed, wounded, and angry. And  I was righteously indignant. How dare he leave ME...AND take half of my money? 
    One day as I was fuming, the lyrics of that old Vacation Bible School song, "Count Your Blessings" came to mind:
  1. When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,
    When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
    Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
    And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
    • Refrain:
      Count your blessings, name them one by one,
      Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
      Count your blessings, name them one by one,
      *Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.
      [*And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.]
  2. Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
    Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
    Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
    And you will keep singing as the days go by.
  3. When you look at others with their lands and gold,
    Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
    Count your many blessings—wealth can never buy
    Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.
  4. So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
    Do not be discouraged, God is over all;
    Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
    Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.
* Alternate text
     When the song "reappeared," I decided to latch on to it every time I felt a moment of anger, betrayal, doubt, fear, or resentment. I woke up counting my blessings, my mental screen saver throughout the day was set on "Count Your Blessings," and I went to sleep counting my blessings. Yes, this required discipline.


    In about 18 months, I was able to not only write those checks without debilitating emotions, I was able to write them with faith and peace.

    During the past five years, I have certainly learned that my "God will supply." I paid off my debts, even while paying the alimony, and this month I wrote the last check to Chaz. In that time, I also learned that, with God's help, I could actually manage my mind, rather than have my mind manage me. And, today, that's the blessing for which I am most grateful.