Those are precious moments when my perspective shifts...and, zoom...my vision widen and sharpen simultaneously.
Or perhaps I'll hear a whispered, yet very clear and elegantly simple answer to a question I have pondered for the last twenty years of my life.
I marvel and delight at these insights.
Sometimes they are quiet confirmations of things I already know, but don't trust that I know.
Other times they are new, fresh, and instantly recognizable as the key that will liberate me from an outdated or fallacious belief I've lugged around way too long.
And sometimes, the insight comes as a sign...something symbolic in nature...and I must interpret its meaning. That's when I put on my thinking cap and mud boots, and my analytical mind takes over and does what she enjoys doing: mucking around...digging deep, mining for meaning. (Uh-oh, watch out. My friend Ricket says I can be obsessively analytical.)
Signs or Wonder
On both Saturday and Sunday mornings of this past week-end, I sat inside urging myself to go out and enjoy the bright sunshine. But I lallygagged for another hour or so, watering my plants and signing along to Handel's Messiah, at the top of my lungs. On both days, when I finally stepped outside, the sky opened up and rained big drops, even as the sun still shone.
In serious pursuit of the divine messsage, I queried Buddy: "What do you make of this? I know it was a sign! Two days in a row, I delayed, and then it rained when I finally walk outside. What to you think it means? Maybe it was a sign to stop puttering around, and get up and get productive."
Buddy: Did you see a rainbow?
YaYa: What rainbow?
Buddy: Your experienced a sunstorm twice. The perfect conditions for rainbow!
YaYa: Oh, My God/dess! I missed the pretty rainbow!
Me and my analytical mind...so busy digging for the meaning, I missed the wonder.
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5 comments:
My Precious YaYa. People look at, regard, or interpret things in different ways.When I was experiencing the pain of divorce nothing was quite the same. My surroundings, what I would see, hear.I would see the same rainbows you spoke about, and give them a glance, and somehow not see the beauty. It's not that you don't see the beauty, I know very well first hand that you do honey. Maybe because you have had to deal with lifes sometimes coldness, and more often than not you had to shuffle many things, being denied of what is in front of you.
Maybe, maybe, maybe. What I know is, I am joyed that you know how pretty a rainbow is, a favorite song, what it feels like to once again be wanted, loved and cherished for the woman you are, and not have to necessarily dig for a meaning. I recall walking the beach with you, looking at the sand beneath our feet, the sounds of the ocean, and we came upon a large boulder and we leaned against it arms interlocked. As I scanned what was around me, I thought how amazing nature is, and I also thought "Oh wow, how long has it been since I could look, and really see." Why does the ocean sound as it does, why is this boulder a perfect resting place, why does the sand feel so good. If I were compelled to search for a meaning, it is that I can again appreciate the beauty of life because of the beauty I have in my life....in you YaYa.
You are a spiritual person and have the ability to see things in different lights. At the same time sweetheart, feel confident that those rainbows, the sun showers, leaves rustling, waking each morning to love....all those things do have meanings that you speak of, and if you need to dig, you need not dig far at all, for they are all a mirror image of who you are....I know this...for I look in that mirror, and see my life.
I Love You Very Much ! xoxoxo
Hi YaYa,
Found the blog info; Still reading through your comments.
Ellen a/k/a Anger Maven
Ooh, Mr. Rizzio: You do make me swoon!
Thanks for writing. YaYa
YaYa, I truly do understand what you mean about analyzing everything. It must be an inherited family curse. My husband is constantly telling me to quit analizing. Yet, I can't seem to rid myself of this habit.
After reading Buddy's comment I must tell you there was no need for me to analyz what he had to say. I think it was pretty self-explanatory and YOU are a very lucky woman.
Peace and Blessings
Dear Mimi: Living too much "in the head" can choke us off from experiencing life through our bodies, heats, and souls. I'm opening up my house and trying to live fully in all of the rooms, now.
And, yes, I do, indeed, feel blessed and mighty grateful to have Buddy back in my life.
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